Friday, November 19, 2010

The Scanned Profile Shot and Other Deceptions Related to Physical Appearance

It's 2010, y'all.  Nearly 2011!  Mobile phones tend to include a digital camera of sorts. Most people I know who can afford to pay for their online dating prescription can also afford a cheap and cheerful digital camera. So what gives with the scanned photos as a primary profile shot? Is this the last time you looked good? I got a few emails from a man who seemed quite nice, but his scanned profile shot looked like it was taken in 1989. The digital shot was so far away that I couldn't have picked him out of a crowd. While looks are not everything, it begs the question why people start off a potential date with a dishonest act.

Case in point: My first date from an online match came in May of 2009. While I didn't think much of him physically based on the photos, I thought it was worth giving it a shot. His emails suggested a well-spoken man who had seen much of the world. He was interesting, intelligent, and we seemed to have at least a few things in common.

Before I go further, I should mention that I'm not some goddess of perfection. Yes, yes, it's true. I'm sure this comes as a shock to most readers, but I'm no size 6 cheerleader. What I am, however, is honest. I would HATE to meet any man through one of these websites and have him feel like he was deceived. So while I greatly dislike telling match.com my body type (what's the difference between curvy, a few extra pounds, and average??), I do try and choose photos that accurately portray me. They include me in no makeup, me dressed up, me on a normal day, and there are at least 2 or 3 body shots.  The thought of arriving at Starbucks to have a man recoil in disgust absolutely appalls me, but I digress.

Getting back to my first adventure in online dating, why did Jowly (an unkind nickname, I know)have to put up photos of him 3 years old and about 30 pounds lighter?  Didn't he worry that we'd meet, and I'd notice? More importantly, wasn't he concerned that I would be put-off by the misrepresentation? We met, and while he was a very nice man, the initial untruth regarding his appearance had sufficiently put me off. It was made worse by the fact that he was in his early 40s and "...still trying to decide what [he'll] be when he grows up." He had also failed to mention that his career was working in a retail job. While the lack of a focused career was a let-down, I was more irked by the old photos. Are these the words of a shallow woman?

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